At the late night, double feature, picture show!

Posted on November 1, 2010


For Halloween weekend I got my hands on a ticket to go with friends to a Rocky Horror Picture Show special screening in London’s Leicester Square.

This is an all-singing all-dancing audience participation show where the audience dress up in fish nets, neck a bottle of wine and go nuts.

Unfortunately, I had only acquired my ticket last minute. So having little time to prepare a costume, I opted to at least try to dress up as Brad – the ‘hero’ of the film.

All this meant in actuality was donning clothes mainly borrowed from my Dad, and a cheap pair of sunglasses with the lenses popped out. My friends on the

Me, dressed as pervy Brad and my friend Worth as Frank

other hand had managed to gear up impressively well – stockings, suspenders, corsets, make-up and my good friend (and constant dressing-up-competitor) Worth, who looked like a young, cross dressing Uncle Fester. ——–>

Their costumes were generally very revealing (and hot – maid’s outfits do it for me every time) and of a high standard. The result of which meant I looked and felt like a tag-along pervert. A conclusion many members of the public conveyed to me on the Tube through awkward sideways glances.

We passed through the masses gathered in Leicester Square (I had no idea there is a fair for Halloween!) to get to the theatre with a motley crew of Frank-Furters, Rif-Rafs and Magentas outside. Whilst a couple of our group finished their cigarette’s three young girls walked towards us with a witches’ hat outstretched.

“Trick or treat!” their leader announced

“I don’t have any sweets I’m afraid” I replied

“Money then!”

“I don’t have any” – hah! that should put an end to it!

“Why are you standing outside a theatre in Leicester Square then?”

Curses. Feeling backed into a corner by the prowess of this 12 year old’s logical questioning, compounded by the onward expectant looks from my friends expecting me to deal with the situation, I panicked, resorting to childishness of which was neither big nor clever of me. I pulled out a Vicky Pollard impersonation and copied whatever they said.

“He’s trying to copy our accents! Loser!” They stormed off.

Once inside, the entertainment began with a warm up act – some bloke in a corset and thong explaining to the crowd that “If you look closely when I bend over you can see what I had for breakfast.”

The warming up continued with similar taste and class. We sifted through the bag of tricks awaiting on our seats with props inside for use during the show – A fake newspaper, rubber gloves, party popper and other odds and ends – preparation for running jokes en-mass.

The film is just superb, all the more whilst watching it with several hundred others who feel the same way. Watching films with crowd interaction adds a new dimension.

With wine flowing through my system I sang my heart out, shouted ‘Slut!’ and ‘Asshole!’ at Brad and Janet and booed the narrator. All it needed was a referee and a reference to Manchester United and I’m sure Alan Green would have had an opinion. (little joke for all you Five Live listeners there.)

By the interval I was feeling quite giddy. We hit the bar for a quick top-up. By this point my costume-jealousy was extremely high. To counter-act this I thought it would be best to strip down to my boxers – emulating my onscreen counterpart for the second half of the film.

It was as I re-entered the auditorium that it dawned on me that my seat was next to my friend’s mother – who I had only just met. I avoided her gaze and sat with my legs crossed for the rest of the evening – however the song with the lyrics “Toucha-toucha-toucha-touch me, I want to be dirty!” was particularly awkward.

The show was great, the venue was fantastic, the jokes were hilarious, the costumes immense and certainly one of the best Halloween’s I have had.

Next time I am determined to prepare a better costume.

Posted in: The Odd Box